MoL: Day 3 – Bring handcuffs to the library, because you never know …

by misscompetitive

Month of Love is a series where I faithfully follow the advice of one reputed relationship expert. Surely one of them will change everything.

This Month’s adviser is Steve Santagati.

Flirting gets shit done. I know how to flirt when I have to, like when my luggage is overweight at the check-in booth “my, you look fresh at five in the morning =)”. But Steve wants me to do it all the time. It makes sense, the more you practice something the better you get. If appearance is the  advertising of the dating world, then your little flirts are the free samples. So I vow to try to be more proactive in my flirting and let all those cuties who do not work for Virgin Atlantic get a glimpse.

Today was my first day as (officially) a flirting machine, and I may have taken it a bit too far … But more on that later. First, I present stereotype of the day: Just a sweet smiley girl wearing a white summer dress and laughing at all your jokes. Steve points out that a woman’s appearance works best if she only shows off one feature body part at a time, rather than letting it all hang out. I agree. Today I decided to show off my … eyes  …

Eyes down here. So the issue with being a flirting machine for me is that I am supposed to be doing research for my dissertation in the library and not eyeing down boys a party. At this time in my life I really should be putting my schoolwork and career first, though of course not neglecting all the fun social bits. I am going to have to take all my flirting to the New York Public Library.

1) Guy checking ours bags as we walk in. Early 20s and cute (and bored – perfect target.)

Guy (as he is rummaging through my bag): “Gotta make sure you don’t have any bombs.”

Angelic Me: “No, not this time.”

Guy: “If you did I might just have to arrest you.”

Angelic Me: “I like handcuffs.”

Too much? I was nervous! And I had Steve on my shoulder telling me to flirt, flirt, flirt.

2) Anonymous opponent on the Words with Friends app.

Okay, hear me out. I had my nose in the library all day with very minimal interaction. I was however, using Words with Friends as procrastination, and I did promise to flirt with everyone and anyone …

Me, losing by a million points: “Wow, you are pretty good at this.” (It is hard to be witty when the only thing you know about the other person is their level of vocabulary.)

Shrk388: “Thanks! You are pretty good. Its a fun game isn’t it.”

Not to brag or anything, but he totally asked me for a rematch. Or she for that matter.

Apart from that I was just generally more talkative with any people that came my way. Notably, I have continued my flirtation with my doorman, which if you are in my life you would know has been going on for a while now. This could only end really, really, well.

In all seriousness, today was pretty good. I put myself out there, relative to how much I usually put myself out there, and even dirty-flirted with a STRANGER. It obviously made me feel beautiful and fun, but it also had a rebound effect of making me feel better about all the romantic baggage I have picked up over the years because it gave me a fantastic sense of possibility. Suddenly, everyone is a possibility. I think we tend to pigeon-hole where we can meet people, (at school, at work, at a party, at a club,) so when we meet a guy in any of those places, and we hit it off, he suddenly feels like the only option around, because where else will you meet someone? And that puts the boy of the moment on a pedestal he really did nothing to deserve. Simply by flirting with the masses for a day, I already feel like the one or two boys I think about are not that tall, dark, and handsome. Psh. I’m the handsome one here.

But I could have done better. I was more flirty, but not that much more proactive. I wouldn’t say that I started any conversations. Tomorrow I will try the dreaded look at some one and smile maneuver. I might have to start slow. 1 second smile, then a 2 second smile, then a 2.5 second smile, then a 2.55 second smile … I’ll get there.