I Am a Real-Life Normal Person and I lost 5 Pounds in One Month: Part 1 – Goals

Disclaimer: I am not accepting any money from any of the listed companies, (less because I am moral, but more that they are not offering anything,) so you can trust that my evaluations are unbiased.

First of all, what am I like?
I am jut like you, maybe even worse. My category is Emotional Eater, if you count being awake as an emotion. There is a desire for food that I possess that is distinct from hunger. In fact, I am such an over-achiever when it comes to feeding myself, that I do not remember the last time I was genuinely hungry. When the first thing you do when you wake up is mentally prepare what you are going to eat that day, you will always have a sandwich prepared. The only time I do not think about food is when I am with or around boys, which is obviously super mentally healthy.
By some miracle, my BMI is within the healthy range for my height and age. By other metrics, I range from slightly overweight by K-mart’s model standards (winter) to adorably chubby (summer). There are some days that I feel good about my body, but no days where I like the way it looks in photographs. Most importantly, I have a feeling I am not getting all the nutrients I need from grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate bars. I like excercise, but can never keep it at it continuously. My enthusiasm for any diet falls after two weeks.
So see, I am just like you, maybe even worse. And I am telling you, there is hope for us.
The proof is in the pudding I no longer want to eat, and the pounds I no longer have. I have lost 5 pounds this month, but have been slowly but surely losing weight for the past 4 months, all through exams and birthdays,and July 4ths. Now I have broke my usual loop, and am safely in the Kinda-Thin/ Pretty-Healthy-Looking category, and you can too!

Goals
Okay, listen closely, and do not fuck this part up. Fact: Anyone who has desire to lose weight has some more basic underlining problem. No exceptions, not even in your case. It is never just the weight that is standing in the middle of you and happiness. Wanting to lose weight, or change any part of your appearance for that matter, means always means that there is a deeper story to be told: maybe one of rejection, or bullying, or social problems, or a sense of shame. The underlying problem is what you really want to vanish. I have faced a lot of rejection from boys in my past, and I do not want to anymore. I think my weight has something to do with the rejection. If a magician told me that I do not have to lose any weight and still have my pick of men, COOL I’LL TAKE THAT PLEASE. My problem is loneliness, losing weight is what I think will fix that.
Take a moment to figure out what it is you really want to change in your life. More boys? More attention from the boy you already have? Still bothered by the bullying you faced in 6th grade? Wanting a sense of self-control? An edge in your career? Once you got it, know this, losing weight will NOT fix your problem. The crazy does not reside in the extra 20 pounds around your waist; the crazy resides in all of you.
I know I framed this post in terms of me losing weight, but that is only to capture the audience that can benefit from my experience the most. Weight loss happened, but just like extra pounds are a symptom of a bigger issue, losing weight weight was just a symptom of my attained happiness. Our goal is not to make you thinner, our goal is to make you happier. It worked for me and it will work for you. And in the end you will be happier about your weight.

Part of what everybody needs to be happier is a healthier relationship with food. The next post will be about how I improved my relationship with food. In preperation, I would love to hear about your guys’ relationship with food.

Asking for Advice: Skype Scandal CONCLUSION

Spoiler alert, it is a happy ending.

When the last post left off, my man of the moment, nicknamed Wolf, did not make it to our arranged Skype session and I was blue so I turned to the interwebz for advice. For those that have not read my previous post, Wolf and I are in those early stages of courtship where we are only getting to know each other in a romantic fashion, and it is by no means clear what either of us wants out of this. So, hell basically.
First, let me highlight the pieces of advice that stuck in my mind the most for the remainder of this situations:

• viralsalome16 – “I just think women have to make sure to take care of themselves (as if you were protecting your own little sister).”
• interestingboredom – “If he was obsessing over you as much as you are over him he would have been on there.”
• lolabees – “You’ll know what to do when you need to do it– that’s my theory.”
• BroadBlogs – “If feeling respected is high on your list AND this makes you feel dissed, drop him.”
• Pepper Bells – “If he can’t be bothered to make time for you this time, don’t think it will be any easier next time.”
• emklio – “Communication is key to any relationship! Tell him it hurt your feelings that he missed the Skype date.”
• anonoymousandarmed – “Everyone express care differently, some rarely show it but it doesn’t mean they don’t care.”
• Lee – “Keep your options open in the meantime and don’t take anything he does or doesn’t do personally. You’re too smart for that.”
• dollm – “Dating shouldn’t make you more insecure than secure.”

It is a great assortment of different possible approaches to my situation. Together, all the bits of advice I received changed how I viewed the situation with Wolf. I saw his absence on Skype as my failure to be an interesting enough person. The first problem with this is that its already too analytical of me to read so much into a Skype game of tag. The second problem it is unhealthy for me to think that the guy is the prize to be won in this scenario when I am as much of a prize myself. Slightly adjusting this mindset had a ripple effect on my confidence over the situation. As the last pieces of advice were rolling in, I was already so over this whole Skype scandal.

Then as I was beginning to forget about him, he sends me a message the next day. Wolf: “youre too quick for me. free tonight?”

Here is what I told lolabees: “I thought about what being strong would mean in this case, as in would a strong woman ignore him or give him a second chance, etc. Let me know what you think about this Lolabees, but I decided that a strong woman would not not immediately cast a guy out for making one “mishap” because in a way that’s a defense mechanism as well. However, a strong woman would also not forget the mishap. So I asked him what time he wants to Skype. If I happen to have nothing planned that hour I will talk to him for 20 min or so. If I am busy, then I will just tell him I can’t and that maybe I’ll talk to him some other time. That way he realizes he snoozes he loses! lol”
We made a new time that night. 9pm. Very specific. He missed it.

Comon boy.

But, I meant it above when I said my mindset changed, because I was totally cool with it. For once, instead of worrying about why I am not good enough to be on, HE was the one that got less attractive in my eyes because of this poor show of effort. I didnt even want to Skype him at this point. This is strength!

An hour after we were supposed to Skype this convo happened:

Wolf: sorry got my timing completely wrong. can you come on now?

STRONG Girl, who happens to be me :No I left my house to go to the doctor for a jab. Can you make it up to me but telling me right now that it wont hurt? Im scared lol

Wolf: it wont hurt… whats the jab for?

STRONG Girl, who happens to be me: it prevents against HPV and other STDS, which is grrrreat, I dont want to ever get either of those things. didnt hurt THAT much, but I cried anyway, just in case …
I was nice, whatever, no attitude, not making a big deal our of anything. It could have been two honest mistakes in a row, or maybe He Is Just Not That Into Me, either way the weight of our love story was no longer all on my shoulders. I did my bit, so mentally I told myself that I will not be initiating any contact after this.
THEN, two days later, out of nowhere:

Wolf: so the olympics is over and i now have some time on my hands. shall we try to skype again?

I though, fine, but I wont go out of my way to make this happen. It will be on my terms. I replied two days later (hehehe):

STRONG Girl, who happens to be me: sure. today at 2 uk time? i got an hour or so. or sometime thursday

Wolf: i’ll be there

And he was! And it was great and fun. Some moments I was cool, some moments I was dorky. Whatever, I had fun. There is more I can write about in terms of the content of the convo, but I do not even care anymore. That is how goddamn COOL I am now, all thanks to you guys.
After he hung up I messaged him this address he wanted and said:
STRONG Girl, who happens to be me: “Hey boo, here’s the address for that paper thing you need:
315 W 57th Street
New York, NY 10019

gettt it dooone, dont fuck up. skype again sooooon. xx”

Wolf: “thanks for that. looking forward to it! x”

Who knows what happens next. I’m not worried. I’ve got you guys.